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02-10-2006
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#34 (permalink) | |
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root\.workspace\.garbage.
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,796
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Quote:
This is a story about a couple that had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every night before he fell asleep and again every morning when he awoke, even louder than the night before. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. She would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; as she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. To which, he only laughed. The years went by and he continued to blast them out! Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She warmed the innards just enough to take off the chill, then took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep. Gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood-curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you. God, I feel horrible." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one-day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened." "Oh No!" his wife his wife exclaimed, doing her best to hold back the laughter, "are you okay honey?" "Yea, I'm a little uncomfortable," he said with a moan. "But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of 'em back in."
__________________
Daughter with arms inside shirt: "Daddy I'm not Armish" ┌──────────────────────────────┐ ╞ NS Icons Explained|et hoc genus omne ╡ └──────────────────────────────┘ |
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02-10-2006
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#35 (permalink) | |
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Humourless EuroMod.
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: City of Mermaids, Denmark
Posts: 6,813
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Quote:
Dutch
__________________
All your answers are belong to Google. SEARCH DAMMIT! Warning. Warning. Low C8H10N4O2 level detected. Operator halted.... |
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02-10-2006
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#36 (permalink) | |
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SpoonfeederExtraordinaire
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 3,619
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Quote:
__________________
:00475160 0E A6 AE A0 19 E3 A3 46 .......F
:00475168 0D 65 17 0C 53 70 6F 6F .e..Spoo :00475170 6E 66 65 65 64 65 72 2E nfeeder. :00475178 45 78 74 72 61 6F 72 64 Extraord :00475180 69 6E 61 69 72 65 5D 3B inaire]; :00475188 8B 9E 92 5A FF 5D A6 F0 ...Z.].. |
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02-10-2006
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#37 (permalink) | |
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Not feeling funny...
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Rebrandsoftware's mom's house...
Posts: 1,699
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Quote:
__________________
WTOTD Industries - Where quality is Job #3. G8tK33per doesn't care about the tarded people! -Kanye West |
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02-10-2006
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#38 (permalink) | |
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SpoonfeederExtraordinaire
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 3,619
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Quote:
__________________
:00475160 0E A6 AE A0 19 E3 A3 46 .......F
:00475168 0D 65 17 0C 53 70 6F 6F .e..Spoo :00475170 6E 66 65 65 64 65 72 2E nfeeder. :00475178 45 78 74 72 61 6F 72 64 Extraord :00475180 69 6E 61 69 72 65 5D 3B inaire]; :00475188 8B 9E 92 5A FF 5D A6 F0 ...Z.].. |
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02-10-2006
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#39 (permalink) | |
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Not feeling funny...
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Rebrandsoftware's mom's house...
Posts: 1,699
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Quote:
__________________
WTOTD Industries - Where quality is Job #3. G8tK33per doesn't care about the tarded people! -Kanye West |
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02-10-2006
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#40 (permalink) | |
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Humourless EuroMod.
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: City of Mermaids, Denmark
Posts: 6,813
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Quote:
Dutch
__________________
All your answers are belong to Google. SEARCH DAMMIT! Warning. Warning. Low C8H10N4O2 level detected. Operator halted.... |
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02-10-2006
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#42 (permalink) | |
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proselyte
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Quite a bit EAST & a smidgen south of the world famous Rat. 2 miles from the beach or 1/2 a mile from a golf course and liquor store, or 2 miles from a Gun store or 5 miles from a hooters or a "adult nightclub"
Posts: 894
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Quote:
__________________
Unable to apply patch, Please install M$ Outlook to continue.  A journey of a thousand posts begins with How To Ask Questions The Smart Way |
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02-10-2006
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#43 (permalink) | |
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SpoonfeederExtraordinaire
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 3,619
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Quote:
__________________
:00475160 0E A6 AE A0 19 E3 A3 46 .......F
:00475168 0D 65 17 0C 53 70 6F 6F .e..Spoo :00475170 6E 66 65 65 64 65 72 2E nfeeder. :00475178 45 78 74 72 61 6F 72 64 Extraord :00475180 69 6E 61 69 72 65 5D 3B inaire]; :00475188 8B 9E 92 5A FF 5D A6 F0 ...Z.].. |
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/makes QUICK exit. j/k
Linear Mode
